Tag: funeral

LAST RITES by Todd Harra

May 3, 2022 / Kyle Wendy Skultety / 0 Comments

The Untold Story of American Funeral and Mourning Traditions

Why do we embalm the deceased? Why are funerals so expensive? Is there a reason coffins are shaped the way they are? When—and why—did we start viewing the deceased? Ceremonies for honoring the departed are crucial parts of our lives, but few people know where our traditional practices come from—and what they reveal about our history, culture, and beliefs about death. In Last Rites, author Todd Harra takes you on a fascinating exploration of American funeral practices—examining where they came from, what they mean, and how they are still evolving.
Our conventions around death, burial, and remembrance have undergone many great transitions—sometimes due to technology, respect for tradition, shifting sensibilities, or even to thwart grave robbers. Here you’ll explore:
• Influences for American rituals—from medieval Europe, the Roman Empire, and even ancient Egypt
• When mourning fell out of fashion—and how George Washington’s passing brought it back
• Abraham Lincoln’s landmark funeral and its widespread impact
• Flowers, liquor, mourning gifts, and caskets—the reasons behind our grieving customs
• Unknown soldiers—how warfare influenced funeral and bereavement practices … and vice versa
• How growing populations, religion, inventions, and media have changed and continue to shape our traditions
• The future of our death rites—mushroom suits, green burial, body donation, flameless cremation, home funerals, and more
The rich story of the American funeral is one of constant evolution. Whether you’re planning a funeral service or are simply intrigued by the meaning behind American burial practices, Last Rites is an informative and compelling exploration of the history—and future—of the ceremonies we use to say farewell to those who have departed this world.
The rich story of the American funeral is one of constant evolution. Whether you’re planning a funeral service or are simply intrigued by the meaning behind American burial practices, Last Rites is an informative and compelling exploration of the history—and future—of the ceremonies we use to say farewell to those who have departed this world.

Thanks to NetGalley and Sounds True publishing for giving me this ARC to review!

Todd Harra is an excellent writer and extremely knowledgeable about the funeral industry. LAST RITES is not his first book; he has written multiple books about the funeral business and (interestingly enough) some mystery books with an undertaker as the main character. I’ll be checking those out quite soon! You can find the first book on Amazon.

I have always been fascinated about death and funerals – when I was in high school, I was early accepted to the McCallister Academy of Mortuary Science. The only thing that stopped me from attending was an interaction between me and a funeral director (who was the only woman in my town to own her own business) I approached her for some information and offered to work there, like an externship. I would set up the rooms, clean, etc., and possibly watch an embalming or two just to see what the business was really like. She was quite rude and told me not to bother going to school, since I didn’t have “family in the business” I would never make it. She went on to say that no one would hire me because I was an outsider, not part of a funerary family. I was young and I took her words to heart and chose a different career path. It’s ironic that now, most funeral homes are owned by a corporate entity and employ staff with all kinds of backgrounds…family “in the business” is no longer an issue.

So, back to LAST RITES. The author takes us through the history of everything funerary, from early funeral customs during Egyptian times to the present as well as embalming, mourning customs, burial procedures (especially interesting is the “alarms” that bodies were buried with, in case the person inside the coffin was not truly dead (!), the evolution of hearses, and superstitions surrounding death and dying. There is enough substance for both serious students and curious laypeople to enjoy. There is the occasional yucky detail but not enough to make the book a struggle to read.

The author made this book very information-dense; it can be overwhelming if you choose to read it over the course of a few hours. I preferred to limit my intake to 30-45 minutes, as it helped me to really absorb the details and/or look up more information on a subject that I wanted to learn more about. There are footnotes at the end of every chapter, which helped me to gain a new level of understanding to what was written in the body of the book.

What I liked most about LAST RITES is that there were enough nuggets there to complement the knowledge I had already. The author gives a lot of detail and examples to make the book a multi-layered approach towards death customs and the like. At times it did read like a textbook, but the information needed to be written in such a way to include the level of detail I mentioned above. The author’s style makes it easy to read, which is a blessing considering the ultra-serious subject matter. The United States perpetuates the avoidance of death and dying, which is a shame considering everyone must deal with it eventually. Perhaps LAST RITES will help shed some light on the history of this long-standing profession and help people make informed end-of-life decisions.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book! You can pick up your copy here.

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty

January 13, 2015 / Kyle Wendy Skultety / 0 Comments

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Many thanks to the author, Caitlin Doughty, for gifting me this book in exchange for this honest review.

When I first learned this was published I knew I had to read it. As an almost-mortician (I was accepted into American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Service many years ago but never went) I really wanted to hear what Ms Doughty was going to say. Her writing is wry and emotional, and it’s easy for the reader to understand her quest to find out why death means so much to her.

The story starts out as she finds a job at a crematorium, then goes off to mortuary school in hopes of learning all she can about the funeral industry. Her motives are such that she wants to oppose the general business/embalming aspect of funerals and death; she believes in a “green” disposal, which may mean anything from cremation to being buried in the earth in a biodegradable container. Doughty feels that our attitude towards death is that of an ostrich in the sand; we prefer not to acknowledge it or prepare for it. This, she feels, is wrong. If you are able to come to terms with your eventual passing you will not have any fear, and it’s a healthier way of living.

The author illustrates this way of thinking in each of her anecdotes. Beware–this book is not for the faint of heart, as there is a good deal of description of dead bodies, what happens when you get cremated, and some near death experiences of Doughty’s. However, that does not overshadow the main thrust of the story; we can feel Doughty’s mistrust and discomfort at the funeral industry, and are able to learn why she thinks that way.

An incident that happened at a shopping mall when the author was younger sets the background for so much discussion of mortality: she watched and heard a young girl fall to her death from the second floor of a mall, and that stayed with her for many years. She developed tics and habits, to “ward off” death coming for her, and then realized that she could come to terms with it, as we all should. She feels that Americans especially are in denial about death, whereas in other parts of the world people are more comfortable; she illustrates this by including snippets of information on death and funerary customs around the globe, which I found interesting and enlightening.

Thinking about the end of your own life may seem depressing to you, but it is important that you get your affairs in order and not be afraid. It’s a lot easier said than done, but Doughty pleads her case well. She exudes a feeling of caring and encouragement, and hammers the point home that this is the one thing that brings us all together, no matter what race, color. creed or species you are.

I enjoyed the mix of humor and pathos in her writing, and would love to see something else in this vein. Doughty can be found at the Order of the Good Death online, and also has her own YouTube channel, known as “Ask A Mortician”. She is exactly what the funeral industry needs: an honest voice that demonstrates caring and empathy. I’d be honored to let Ms. Doughty handle my end of life care–would you? Read this book and let me know what you think. You can pick up your own copy [easyazon_link asin=”0393240231″ locale=”US” new_window=”default” nofollow=”default” tag=”gimmethatbook-20″ add_to_cart=”yes” cloaking=”default” localization=”yes” popups=”yes”]here.[/easyazon_link]